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Ideas by Category: Skratchbod Date: 2003-12-08 Category: Technology / Music Hardware Price: 100 Target Audience: Tactex, Mercurial Innovations Group, DJ and other performance equipment manufacturers Description: DJs have great hands, which is part of their allure, and products like the Mercurial STC-1000 let them show off their tactile virtuosity more vividly than ever. But while the original STC-1000 Single Touch Controller is based on an uninspiringly geeky flat rectangular input pad, Skratchbod wraps the same touch-sensitive synthetic skin over a life-sized model of a human torso. Two versions are available, Skratchbod-F and Skratchbod-M, which are shaped like the midsections of a shapely woman and hunky man, respectively. The fully-programmable Skratchbod lets you map its sonic responses any way you want, from simple x- and y-axis approaches to more complex, erogenous zone-oriented configurations. But whatever you choose, you'll be teasing and stroking the club floor into a dance frenzy! Physical objectification never sounded so good! Song of the South Remake Date: 2003-12-03 Category: Culture / Film and Video Price: 200 + small percentage negotiable Target Audience: Disney (which has undergone recent Board of Directors changes and may need new directions). Description: Song of the South (1946) is a wonderful story, but because audiences today might consider some elements racist, Disney has kept it out of circulation. This family classic is ripe for a good remake, and here's how to do it: Set it in Sapalo Island, Georgia, with an all-black cast. Keep the original cartoon characters and songs, but make Brer Rabbit and his gang Gullah. This would dramatize a vivid chapter of Black History while bringing Brer Rabbit, Brer Fox, and Brer Bear to a new generation-- which would be just plain fun. And think of the toy potential! Liver Lab Date: 2003-12-03 Category: Durable / Toy and Novelty Price: negotiable Target Audience: Toy manufacturers Description: Toys that prepare foods are popular now, like chocolate makers, cotton-candy spinners, and McFlurry machines (whatever a McFlurry might be). Too bad for the boys that it's all girly stuff-- not to mention tooth-rotting junk. Liver Lab offers a proud alternative for kids who are more partial to monsters, blood, and guts. Using the Lab's kid-friendly implements on inexpensive and readily-available chicken livers, young-Frankenstein chefs can dissect, mince, and blend the organs, then roast or grill them on the safe, light bulb-powered range. You can make Bruschetta ai Fegattini, Lebanese Liver Kebabs, Kosher-style Chopped Liver, and other grown-up treats-- and if culinary procedures get sloppy, the Lab also teaches important and unforgettable lessons in safe food-handling and gastrointestinal function. Who says cooking is for wusses? Vegan Wishbones Date: 2003-11-26 Category: Durable / Appliance / Kitchen Price: negotiable Target Audience: Description: Vegan Wishbones are a vegetarian's wish come true. Made of cornstarch-derived biodegradable plastic and shaped like a turkey's furculum, the "v-bones" each have an undetectable fracture point at a random offset, giving everyone a fair break. Packaged in sets of six, Vegan Wishbones are aimed at vegans and vegetarians who still have a fondness for the wishbone tradition. But they'll also appeal to romantic couples who aren't cooking a complete bird, and large groups who would like enough bones to go around. And, unlike the edible "Wishstix" that come with Tofurky, these bones can be painted or printed with fresh, custom colors and patterns-- and you don't have to buy a Tofurky to get them. The Skeletonization Society Date: 2003-11-13 Category: Culture Price: 1% of net Target Audience: Morticians and freethinkers Description: Do not go gentle into that good night-- party on! The Skeletonization Society promotes skeletonization as an alternative to burial and cremation, challenging modern society's denial surrounding death. The eco-friendly process returns your soft tissues to the earth (via Dermestid beetles, used by top museums worldwide) while keeping your articulated skeleton jumpin' for years to come. Your gleaming bones can live on, teaching the difference between maxilla and mandible to generations of Boston Latin students, or serving as "house skeleton" for the Phi Gam sorority, studied by pre-meds all week and photographed with drunk coeds all weekend. You can be the skeleton in your children's closet, appreciated by generations of descendents, or the trusted Yorick at your favorite local theater company. No matter what, you'll look great-- beautiful and clean, no rolls of fat, skin problems, or obscene genitalia, the enduring and universal essence of humanity. Contrary to common belief, it is perfectly legal to own a human skeleton, just as it is to own human ashes. But they've become more expensive since India, the traditional medical school supplier, banned their export roughly a decade ago. Part club, part business, The Skeletonization Society educates and builds community for people interested in skeletonization, while offering training, supplies, and political support for participating undertakers. And when your skeleton is ready to show, the Society presents your loved ones with a certificate that documents your life, keyed to a unique identifier implanted into the bone, and holds a festive "coming out" party. GunNut Magazine Date: 2003-11-13 Category: Culture / Magazine and Newspaper Price: 1% of net Target Audience: Magazine publishers Description: A whole generation of video-gamers is coming into legal gun-buying age, and some are realizing that blasting inanimate objects with big guns is just as thrilling in real life as it is in DOOM. But they don't share the cold-dead-fingers paranoia or Bambi-shooting sensibilities of traditional gun enthusiasts. Enter GunNut magazine, tagline: "Shooting Is Fun." Each month, GunNut covers all forms of recreational shooting (except for hunting), emphasizing target practice with real firearms, but also discussing First-Person Shooter videogames, paintball, homemade siege weapons, archery, and other projectile-centered recreations. All topics are presented with a lively, young, video-game sensibility -- think PC Gamer meets Guns and Ammo meets Maxim. The magazine will attract a whole new audience of trigger-happy gamers to the world of gun ownership, inviting lots of advertising revenue. Meanwhile, gun traditionalists will resent the publication's playful, irreverent attitude, and concerned parents will object to the way it blurs the distinction between virtual and real-life shooting, guaranteeing a rebel-cool "underground" status from both sides of the shocked-grownup spectrum. Thai Iced Tea Cheesecake Date: 2003-11-12 Category: Consumable / Food Price: Free Target Audience: Progressive cheesecake bakers Description: Title says it all. Could somebody please get on this? Set-ups Date: 2003-11-12 Category: Consumable / Food Price: 100 Target Audience: Producers of bagged salad products. Description: Crisp lettuce and tomato slices, just enough for one sandwich, individually wrapped in nitrogen-filled plastic bags. Forget that wilting head of brown-tinged iceberg or that mushy, butchered half-tomato-- Set-ups stay fresh in the fridge longer than many luncheon meats, and are ready when you need them. Just open one up, and make your sandwich deli-licious! Speakers' Jokes for PalmOS Date: 2003-10-31 Category: Technology / Software Price: 100 Target Audience: Publishers and rights-holders of any of the many "jokes for speakers" and "jokes for all occasions" books, handheld software vendors. Description: Experienced public speakers know that the best opener is often a relevant joke. But if you're preparing your talk on the plane over or speaking off-the-cuff, you probably can't access those humor sources that normally assist the joke-memory-challenged majority. Speakers' Jokes for PalmOS solves the problem with a searchable bank of over 3,000 one-liners, aphorisms, and witty quotations, indexed by topic and occasion keywords, that runs on your Palm-based PDA. You can edit entries to match your personal voice, attach performance notes, and add new jokes to the database. Subscribe to the inexpensive update service, and you can download fresh, topical material from with-it sources such as Tonight with Jay Leno and The Onion. For Pocket PC users, a sister product is available: Joke Explorer for Windows CE Mobile Edition. This product uses the same great database as Speakers' Jokes, minus eleven software-related entries which were deemed incompatible with the platform. Missed Connections Agent Date: 2003-10-27 Category: Service / Personal Price: 100 Target Audience: craigslist.com, alternative weeklies, and other publishers of personals / missed connections ads who might want an easy new source of revenue Description: Hey, you're a head-turning man- or woman-about-town who is looking for that special someone -- but with a busy schedule like yours, who has time to search the "Missed Connections" section of craigslist or the local alt-weekly? With Missed Connections Agent, all the hopeful little missives you inspire will be delivered to your mailbox daily. Once you've subscribed to the reasonably-priced monthly service, you simply enter your location, usual commute route, and basic physical description. MCA then continuously searches all new Missed Connection postings from a variety of sources (community sites, newspapers, youwerewearing.com), finds the ones that fit, and emails you a combined report, sorted by likelihood of match. An advanced filtering page lets you enter more details for special occasions -- exactly where you were, what you were wearing, etc. Subscribe now, before you miss any more! Roommate Court (Public Access TV) Date: 2003-10-27 Category: Culture / Film and Video Price: 200 Target Audience: Public Access television hosts looking to expand their audience beyond their immediate circle of friends. Description: Your roommate never washes his dishes? Or he left his latest stupid "sculpture" right in the middle of the hallway, where you stepped on it, like anyone else would have late at night? Settle your grievances on Roommate Court, San Francisco Public Access Television’s surprise hit program. Every week, the colorful "Judge" Knox listens to each disgruntled roommate's story and dispenses firm-but-fair rulings and entertainingly apt punishments, some of which are administered on the spot. You’d better sign up soon, though -- with all the roommate problems out there, the "Judge's" waiting list gets longer each week. Big Music Date: 2003-10-17 Category: Culture / Music Price: 200 Target Audience: Major music studios and the disgruntled execs who want to leave them Description: Wounded by downloading, Universal Music Group recently slashed wholesale CD prices -- a sign that the music industry bloodbath can only continue, sucking a thick layer of percentage-shaving L.A. schmooze-weasels out of the bloated payrolls like so many liposuctioned fat cells. But upstart studio Big Music sees no future in distributing entertainment for home consumption anyway. Instead, it focuses on two things that computers can't do: manufacturing celebrities, and providing the thrilling and copy-proof experience of being in an audience. Talent development, PR, and concerts; that's it, and any music that the studio produces and distributes simply serves as an advertisement for the live events and merchandise. Furthermore, for some live events, the performers aren't even physically present, which reduces costs considerably. Instead, the bands play at one high-profile venue, and their performance is simulcast to other arenas across the country, projected onto big screens, and supported by dazzling video effects and stage pyrotechnics. Naturally, the thousands of screaming fans, who are the main source of concert excitement anyway, are all real. Big Music has found that these lower-priced "Simulcast Tours" work best for bubblegum bands, and the company does not expect them to be embraced by properties like Neil Young. Operation Loom -- "Sting Research" for Feds Date: 2003-10-06 Category: Service / Government / Law Enforcement Price: Free Target Audience: DEA, FBI, other agencies with budgets for cooking up clever sting operations Description: Who, besides someone who's up to no good, would buy a book about how to conceal parcels in public places? Federal investigative and enforcement agencies could gather high-quality data by operating undercover as a far-libertarian fringe bookseller, positioned as a new, slick competitor to companies like Loompanics. A website takes orders for original, practical guides covering topics of special interest to criminals: drug manufacture, identity fraud, defeating security systems, etc. As the operation fulfills orders it banks all data -- credit card numbers, shipping addresses, names -- for direct use in targeting investigations or in conjunction with other data sets. The books themselves plausibly cover their topics, and may also contain carefully-crafted disinformation designed to direct or otherwise enhance the efforts of law enforcement (provided this carries absolutely no risk of arousing suspicions about the publisher). This project requires no more than three months to set up, including building the website, writing the books (print on demand), and taking out ads in selected libertarian and anti-government publications. An additional three months will determine whether the data gleaned is worthwhile, at which point the "publishing venture" can either continue its operations or be discreetly folded. iGuitar Date: 2003-09-27 Category: Technology / Music Hardware Price: 200 + 1% of net Target Audience: Electric/electronic music equipment manufacturers Description: Just plug (in) and play! The iGuitar is a self-tuning electric guitar that lets you focus on the music. A pickup-microprocessor-servo loop keeps the überaxe continuously in tune, and can be instantly REset to a alternate tuning or capo setting. Internal memory and Ethernet support allow you to easily download MIDI songs and guitar tablatures, and when you play them back in "learn" mode, LED's under the translucent neck indicate the chord fingerings -- a powerful teaching tool. The uniquely versatile iGuitar also has REtractable frets and comes with a cello bow, for the free-form musician. Finally, for that show-defining, climactic power chord, a switch on the back of the neck immediately REleases the E string so that it pops loudly, just as if you'd broken it. "SI Code" Electronics Date: 2003-09-27 Category: Durable / Electronic Price: 200 Target Audience: Home electronics and media companies Description: Let's face it: human eyes and ears only understand unencrypted, analog inputs, which is why screens and speakers take unencrypted, analog signal -- and as long as someone can reach the wires that feed these basic devices, they can pirate any content. That's why a vast consortium of manufacturers and media companies have hammered out the SI (Secure and Integrated) Code, the new binding standard for home electronics design. Pre-Code electronics were held together with simple screws and carried unsecure copyrighted content via easily accessible wires, inviting hackers and tinkerers to break the law. The Code, in contrast, requires all devices to be encased in solid, sealed cases designed to destroy their delicate contents if broached. At each end of any external connections, unique-pair codec chips scramble and reconstitute the audio and video signal, to prevent splicing in and stealing. For watt-hungry terminal components such as speakers, power is boosted by single-channel amplifiers encased in the same thick plastic as the decoders. Bootleg-proof "Code" electronics are completely incompatible with traditional components, of course, but heavy marketing and artificially low prices should speed adoption. Also, "Code" electronics have eye-catching shapes and colors, unlike dull, rectangular pre-Code equipment. Meanwhile, the consortium plans to launch a major, ongoing ad campaign designed to portray pre-Code "tinkerers" as dorky and lame. The canonical 30-second spot shows a young man inviting an attractive woman back to his place after a date; things look promising until she notices his old, geeky-looking pre-Code equipment, at which point she leaves, saying "I just changed my mind about you." TOTS (Things wrapped in Other Things) Fast-Food Chain Date: 2003-09-24 Category: Consumable / Food Price: 1% of net Target Audience: Franchisable food operation entrepeneurs Description: Tastes and cuisines may differ, but all humans love eating things wrapped in other things-- think dolma (Mediterranean), dim sum (China), canneloni (Italy), pierogi (Eastern Europe), and sushi (Japan). In every land, tenderly wrapped, handheld or bite-sized delicacies are both native favorites and treats for travellers seeking a tasty meal on the go. TOTS brings all of these treats together under one roof. With 30 different globe-spanning finger foods to choose from, everyone leaves happy, well-fed and unsoiled by burger or pizza drippings-- whether they're kids, drivers pulling off the highway, or office workers on lunch break. In urban areas, TOTS franchises benefit from the innovative practice of subcontracting with top local ethnic restaurants to supply TOTS-compatible dishes, aggregating the best local offerings to allow diners enjoy locally-produced dumplings, pakora, and mini-burritos (for example) in the same meal. TOTS-- the food franchise of the future! The Screening Room Date: 2003-09-17 Category: Business / Rentals Price: 150 Target Audience: Mall retail and theater entrepreneurs Description: Typical home entertainment systems do a pretty good job, but studio releases increasingly seem to require ultra high-end equipment to be fully understood and enjoyed. F'rinstance, you can't expect an ordinary system to do justice to the amazing low and high registers of DJ Qbert's Wave Twisters DVD. But if you take the gang to The Screening Room, you'll all get the full experience. With locations nationwide, The Screening Room rents mini-theaters that seat up to ten people and are equipped with 72-inch high-definition plasma screens, plus all THX- and Dolby-certified 6.1 surround-sound audio systems that feature insanely expensive studio-quality speakers. And you get it all for as little as $50 per hour during the day (more for evenings and weekends). Whether you're a group of sophisticates reviewing to the latest audiophile Varese recording, partyers checking out rock videos, or vice-versa, The Screening Room provides optimum conditions for breaking cultural bread together. Customers typically reserve theaters in advance and bring their own CD's and DVD's, but when space permits, drop-ins can rent and screen from a selection of proven crowd-pleasers that range from The Three Tenors to the special The Wizard of Oz / Dark Side of the Moon package. A great new way to entertain, The Screening Room is far less expensive and wanky than buying a $100,000 home theater system of your own, just as much fun for a group, and more practical for space-challenged urban apartment dwellers. Fire Twirling: Great Exercise (and Great Television) Date: 2003-09-05 Category: Culture Price: Free Target Audience: Description: Assume the position, Yoga. Fire twirling (aka fire spinning or fire dancing) is the hot new physical discipline now-- empowering, strengthening, fun to perform, beautiful to watch, and linked to a fascinating and inspiring subculture. Imagine the commercial possibilities! First of all, note that Olympic-style gymnastics and ice dancing seem awfully tame after you've watched a pierced, well-muscled hottie execute a complex ballet of swinging chains and flame. (The standard routine lasts about five minutes, the time it takes for a fuel-soaked Kevlar wick to burn out.) The best fire dancers, both women and men, have genuine star quality, and someone in charge needs to organize and broadcast an international tournament, pronto. It could be put on by fire-twirling specialists like New Zealand's Home of Poi, or else as a part of something larger, like ESPN's X Games. Secondly, a national women's magazine needs to do a feature on fire twirling, perhaps as a trend story, or else as a profile of someone like Isa Isaacs, aka GlitterGirl, a fire performer and instructor who gave up a high-flying HR career and survived a life-altering automobile accident to later found the Temple of Poi, a popular San Francisco school dedicated to teaching and building community around the fire arts. Thirdly, fire twirlers worldwide need to start offering lessons and classes, with an eye towards quitting their day jobs. Fourth, there needs to be a magazine dedicated to fire twirling and its associated lifestyle, or at least regular coverage by a pub such as Fierce in Atlanta. Fifth, some fashion designer needs to specialize in sexy, fire-resistant fashions that twirlers can wear both in and out of the fire circle. Sixth... well, you get the idea. SupportWatch Date: 2003-08-19 Category: Technology / Software Price: 100 Target Audience: Description: Leafing through tonight's program, you see that you're listed as a small-print "Friend" of the local opera company, while the Joneses next door are in the "Founder's Circle." Ouch! SupportWatch can help. This simple software package lets arts organizations, charities, and other donation-supported enterprises publish up-to-the-minute hierarchies of benefactors online, while also collecting additional contributions. This allows donors to instantly raise their position in the publicly-posted list simply by contributing more money, pitting them against each another in a healthy, Ebay-like frenzy of competitive generosity. Optional enhancements allow site visitors to view donation data by date (to see who's been slipping lately -- always great gossip fodder) and age (to see if they're at least one of the top donors in their age bracket). Future versions promise .NET compatibility, allowing for cross-charity determinations of who's the most generous overall. Stoner Film Festival Date: 2003-08-15 Category: Culture / Art / Exhibition Price: Free Target Audience: Enterprising stoner film buffs. If the First Annual is a success, might consider seeking corporate sponsorship for future festivals from High Times, Graffix, Mountain Dew, Frito-Lay, etc. Description: Let the frat boys and sorority girls invade Fort Lauderdale next spring break -- the annual Stoner Film Festival in Santa Cruz is the way-funner alternative party destination. Featuring new independent films with a "stoner sensibility," the festival runs through the last week of March at the spacious Rio Theatre, kicked off by the public-domain chestnut Reefer Madness. Meanwhile, festival attendees get discount rates at several friendly local motels. Party in Santa Cruz! Organizers say that when they put word out about the festival, they were flooded with entries (and $20 entry fees). Accepted submissions -- many of which, for some reason, turned out to be comedy shorts featuring puppets -- were selected for quality, variety, and "stoner appeal." Festival organizers officially discourage the breaking of any laws, explaining that they use the term "stoner" to describe an outlook, an approach to life, without implying anything about illegal plant use, which they do not condone. News and Power Date: 2003-08-15 Category: Culture / Books Price: 100 Target Audience: Description: How did the August 15, 2003 edition of the New York Times get out during the blackout? News and Power examines the artifact that is this newspaper, particularly the front section, and gives the inside story behind the news stories -- a newsroom staff under new managers negotiating their first big crisis, deadline-driven reporters waiting for pay phones and fighting their way across town with flashlights to file their stories. Like a The Soul of a New Machine for the newspaper business, it portrays hero journalists struggling against urban mayhem to make the day's report. Along the way, we learn the history of newspaper operations and backup infrastructure during catastrophes, when the product is both more important to society and more profitable, thanks to the guaranteed windfall of newsstand sales. In the last chapter, newspaper veterans reverse-engineer the August 15th edition's front section page-by-page, examining the stories, advertisements, and layout to explain how the newspaper reveals signs of strain (for example, the greater-than-usual number of large ads for the Times itself throughout the section, the four short reports by the same journalist, Glenn Collins, on the same page). 1-900-REVENGE Date: 2003-08-11 Category: Service / Financial Price: 200 Target Audience: Call-in sex talk, psychic, horoscope, and other toll phone service entrepreneurs. Description: Disgruntled employees and bitter exes can taste sweet revenge with 1-900-REVENGE. Simply call the number from enemy territory, then leave the phone off the hook. The toll service plays innocuous "Hold" music without hanging up, to the tune of $100 per minute. The payoff comes when enormous charges appear on the victim's next phone bill. Even if the charges are fought and dropped, it's still a huge hassle. 1-900-REVENGE represents capitalism in its purest form: The Service Is The Billing.(SM) Bliss Series Paper Napkins Date: 2003-08-04 Category: Consumable / Paper Product Price: 100 Target Audience: Target (since they're such a design leader), paper napkin manufacturers, Urban Outfitters (as a back-up, since they're much lower volume) Description: Print designs on paper towels have been getting more interesting recently. Bounty, for example, has heated up the genre with its "Designer's Touch" and four-color "Fun Prints" series, the latter of which licenses characters like Viacom's Rugrats and Hallmark's wisecracking Maxine. Alas, print design for household paper napkins has been unfortunately lagging, staying the familiar course with ho-hum pastel flowers. (Perhaps this is due to the innovation-stealing influence of paper party napkins, which traditionally have brighter colors and fewer "rules"?) How boring! The up-and-coming designers behind the Bliss series recognize that paper napkins are an important signpost in people's lives -- far more important than paper towels, a bridge between party-throwing singlehood and the cloth-napkin formality of married life. The bold prints on Bliss napkins take familiar kitchen-print totems of gardening and rural life, jack up the color, and take the images themselves to the edge of self-parody: Ridiculously cute daisies and ladybugs, hilariously sentimental outhouses. The result is a paper napkin that everyone will love, for different reasons. For hipsters, they convey playfulness and humor, offering a subversive parody-critique of domestic values and inspiring late-night discussions of culture and iconography. For marrieds, bringing out the Bliss napkins and leaving the cloth behind is a way to recapture the casual, floor-sitting informality and flirtatious, unsettled group dynamics of the old days. And for the simple, the prints offer familiar, appealing themes in brighter colors. The Incog Collection Date: 2003-07-30 Category: Durable / Apparel Price: Free Target Audience: Fashion and accessory labels, young designers looking for a niche Description: With camera phones, pervasive surveillance, and face recognition, it's tough to stay private when you're out in public. But with the Incog Collection you can maintain your privacy and do it in style. The exclusively-priced line of clothing and accessories includes hoods, veils, masks, and sunshields that obscure your identity but not your taste or your wealth -- so you'll be treated like the boldface name you may very well be, rather than a criminal or weirdo. Each stunning design is meticulously rendered with materials that range from calfskin and silk to carbon fiber and polymer film. You can find the designs online or at the Incog boutique in Beverly Hills (or NYC or maybe Miami). Blankey-Kool Blanket Date: 2003-07-21 Category: Durable / Textile Price: 200 Target Audience: WestPoint Stevens, other innovation-friendly bedding manufacturers Description: We all know how nice it feels under a big pile of blankets, but for hot summer nights Blankey-Kool provides all of the snuggle without all the heat. Advanced machine weaving laces a grid of flat copper beads into a loose mesh of cool cotton with 3% Kevlar added for strength, creating a stylish covering that has all of the mass of a ski-cabin wool-fest yet less heat retention than a single sheet of 120-count percale. The easy-care Blankey-Kool is machine washable and can even tumble dry (although it dries almost as quickly and makes significantly less noise if you just hang it on a line).
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